Believe You Can and You’re Halfway There

It was a freezing cold day, and Jane really didn’t want to get out of bed. She had zero energy and her body was aching from the day before when he had got into his usual rage for no particular reason. 

As she lay there, the questions in her mind were crippling. Had she looked at him the wrong way? Maybe she hadn’t cooked him the right meal. Did she help him proficiently enough? Jane was getting older – maybe she wasn’t pretty enough. Was she mean, or harsh? Who would know? Jane had certainly tried everything to appease him but that was never enough. Every day was different, she tried so hard to make him happy, but yet it always ended the same.

Can you relate to this? Are you going ‘Ah ha’ in your mind? You’re probably sitting in your kitchen, having a coffee, nodding your head as you read this. Unless you've been through this type of abuse, nobody understands. Why would they? Looking from the outside, you would think, ‘My, my, what a fantastic story! Sounds like something out of a horror movie.’ Well – it is. 

It’s the movie of our life, and it takes courage and strength to step out. Yes, you will be consumed by fear and doubt. I know how scared you are, scared to the bone, but I will be right here with you, guiding you every step of the way. Because I mentored Jane, and she triumphed.

Here's what we did, and I can help you – yes, you – can do it. I know all the steps to take and who to contact, and the very first thing you need to do is prepare, if you can.

STEP 1

Make your mind up, be determined and don't waver, no matter how long it takes and how hard it gets. You don’t have to live like this! 

STEP 2

Set up a bank account. Go to a bank you've never used, definitely not one you or your abuser use, a totally different bank, and get all the mail affiliated with this account sent to a friend's address so you don’t get caught. Start depositing money, doesn't matter how little. It could be $20 here and there.  Just make a start. You need to cover your tracks.

STEP 3

Don’t tell your abuser what you're planning, no matter how difficult that is. Yes, you have to lie! Learn the game they play and beat them at their own game. You may arrive at your destination in a different way to Jane, but that doesn’t matter, what matters is – you arrive!

Image Credit: Marcos Paulo Prado, Unsplash